Your Daily North Korean Headline

Oh boy! Me and Kim Il Sung have something in common! We're both available on the internet!

Kim Il Sung's Work Posted on Internet Website

Pyongyang, June 27 (KCNA) -- The British Association for the Study of Songun Policy on June 22 posted on its Internet website the gist of President Kim Il Sung's work "Let Us Prevent a National Partition and Reunify the Country".

The work, published on June 23, Juche 62 (1973), indicates an independent and peaceful reunification policy of the Workers' Party of Korea and the government of the DPRK. 

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Going to break my usual practice of linking directly to the Korean Central News Agency and instead look to a piece up at the Atlantic about how North Korea is scrounging for cash (If you're curious, you can link to a thrilling expose on bean yogurt production technology here. )

So what are they up to?

Chain restaurants, 'natch:

Kim Myung-ho, a North Korean defector who ran a restaurant in northern China, reported in 2007 that each establishment, affiliated with "trading companies" operated by the government, was required to meet a fixed benchmark payment. "Every year, the sum total is counted at the business headquarters in Pyongyang, but if there's even a small default or lack of results, then the threat of evacuation is given," Kim told the Daily NK, a North Korea-focused online publication. Evacuation -- going back to North Korea -- is a serious threat for someone who is allowed a few years in the relative prosperity of, say, Cambodia.

Sort of explains why Kim Jong-Il decided to lay claim to the invention of the hamburger.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

It's been awhile since I've checked in with our good friends at the DPRK. Well, I'm happy to report that our cheerful comrades in North Korea have continued to strive in the excellent field of manufacturing excellence.

I'm pleased to present to you the latest in the wonder that is North Korean technology:

The portable toothbrush.

New Portable Toothbrush Produced

Pyongyang, June 1 (KCNA) -- The Pyongyang Daily Necessities Factory turns out varieties of consumer goods.

Recently, it began mass-producing a new kind of portable toothbrush.

Dr. Ri Kyong Il, a workshop head of the factory, told KCNA that the toothbrush consists of case, brush and paste. The case is also used as the handle.

The new model is lower in production cost than other kinds of portable toothbrush.

The factory also produces antibiotic toothbrushes with nano-materials and functional materials.

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Have to give it the the scribes of the DPRK: If nothing else, they consistently beat the decadent journalists of the West when it comes to headlines that pop!

S. Korean Reptile Media Accused of Eulogizing Dictator

Pyongyang, May 15 (KCNA) -- The south Korean April Society of Revolution and other organizations related to the April 19 Popular Uprising accused reptile media of eulogizing Syngman Rhee, a pro-U.S. dictator, said the south Korean newspaper Hangyore on May 10.

The organizations said that KBS planned to air a "special" program praising Rhee with August 15 as an occasion.

KBS even dismissed those who raised some questions as for the program from the production team, they noted.

They branded the step taken by the conservative media as an act of totally negating the spirit of the April 19 uprising.

They stressed that they would conduct positive activities together with the democratic movement organizations to curb the unreasonable act of KBS. 

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Definitely solved the car pollution problem.

Admit it: You long to visit fabulous Pyongyang!

Pyongyang Free from Pollution

Pyongyang, May 10 (KCNA) -- It is widely acknowledged that Pyongyang is a clean and beautiful city free from pollution.

Pyongyang is garbed in green with streets lined with trees of good species and flower beds.

There are many parks, recreation grounds and scenery spots like Moran Hill and Taesong and Ryongak mountains in Pyongyang.

The city has taken strict measures to keep rivers clean and prevent ground subsidence and pollution from automobile exhaust fumes, noise, vibration and bad smell.

Residential quarters are clothed with a green mantle.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

One of the things I love about the Korean Central News Agency is their dogged persistence in reporting ALL THE NEWS. Well, all the news with the exception of the death of Bin Laden. But anything else? They're all over it.

In keeping with their mission to report on issues of a profoundly critical nature, they've gone the extra mile and covered this riveting and game-changing resolution coming from the august personages at the UN:

July 30 Designated International Day of Friendship

Pyongyang, May 9 (KCNA) -- The UN General Assembly on May 3 adopted a resolution proclaiming July 30 as the International Day of Friendship.
 

"The relevance and importance of friendship is recognized as a noble and valuable sentiment in the lives of human beings around the world," the resolution said. 

Mark your calendars! Everything is going to be cool imminently!

Your Daily North Korean Headline

In the event that you've heard just about enough about the death of Bin Laden, might I suggest you direct your eyes to the musings of the ink stained worker-soldier-comrade-journalists of the DPRK?

Because they simply haven't mentioned it.

However, some guy stopped by for a visit.

Choe Thae Bok Meets German Guest 

 

Pyongyang, May 5 (KCNA) -- Choe Thae Bok, chairman of the Supreme People's Assembly of the DPRK, had a friendly talk with Stefan Muller, chairman of the German-Korean Parliamentary Friendship Group who paid a courtesy call on him, at the Mansudae Assembly Hall Thursday.
 

Present there were Ri Jong Hyok, chairman of the DPRK-German Parliamentary Friendship Group, and Gerhard Thiedemann, German ambassador to the DPRK. 

Nothing to see here folks, please move along.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

There's going to be a bit of a hiatus with Your Daily North Korean Headline, I'm afraid. Unfortunately, the KCNA has yet to be updated since May, 1st. I assume that they're just busy what with the building, staffing and occupying of prison camps.

Honestly, I'm putting a hold on things until they get around to mentioning the death of Bin Laden. I'd suggest that they go with an attention headline along the line of "US Imperialists Launch Invasion to Kill Elderly Man at Home".

To tide you over, please take a look at the somewhat iconic image on the left. Curious of what it represents? It's a satellite view of electric lights in South and North Korea at night.

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Looks like the DPRK doesn't have much to say about the death of You-know-who.

What they do have to say is that they kick ass in the field of concrete tamping.

Concrete Tamping of Ryongrim Dam

 Pyongyang, May 1 (KCNA) -- The concrete tamping of the Ryongrim dam at the Huichon Power Station has been completed in a matter of more than 700 days.

The huge project which would have taken more than 10 years at an ordinary pace has been completed in the main in a matter of just two years thanks to the heroic drive of soldier-builders of the Korean People's Army who broke the ground in April, 2009. As a result, there appeared a huge dam of eternal value on the upper reaches of the Jangja River flowing between high mountains.

They wound up the project to build a temporary drainageway in July, three months after the ground-breaking, which would have taken two years at an ordinary pace, in the wake of their successful completion of the project to build a cofferdam.

The dam ground digging and the ground concrete tamping were pushed forward simultaneously, making it possible to finish in a matter of just five months the amount of work to be done for several years and bringing the construction of the temporary drainageway and the dam ground digging to completion. This was a miraculous success unprecedented in the history of hydropower station construction.

General Secretary Kim Jong Il visited the construction site in September, 2009 and called this high speed a new Chollima Speed, the Huichon Speed as it brought about a steady leap forward and innovations and a world-startling miracle. He warmly encouraged the soldier-builders.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

And why on Earth should the British royalty get to hog all the press today? The former God-King of North Korea is having a birthday party, damnit! And unlike some kings I might mention, Kim Il Sung was "great brilliant"!

Kim Il Sung's Birth Anniversary Commemorated Abroad

Pyongyang, April 28 (KCNA) -- Events took place in different countries between April 9 and 17 to commemorate the birth anniversary of President Kim Il Sung.

They included seminars, round-table talks, lectures, film shows and Taekwon-Do championships in Russia, Kyrgyzstan, Italy, Netherlands, Bulgaria, Congo, Tanzania and Malaysia.

Among the Korean films shown were "Fireworks for a Thriving Nation" and "A Broad Bellflower".

The chairman of the Central Council of the People Unity-"Kyrgys El" Republican Political Party of Kyrgyzstan said that Kim Il Sung is a distinguished thinker-theoretician who founded the Juche idea and the great brilliant commander and prominent strategist who defeated the two U.S. and Japanese imperialisms.

The president of the Group of Dialectical Materialists of Italy noted that Kim Il Sung performed great feats for the country and the people and the human cause of independence.

We will fully support the Korean people in the efforts to build a great prosperous and powerful socialist country, he said, expressing the will to actively conduct various political and cultural events on the occasion of the centenary of birth of Kim Il Sung. 

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Sure it's a very short article. But there's just something about the term "Delegation of Elders". It makes me feel like Gandalf, Obi-Wan and the Wizard of Oz stopped by for a pow-wow.

Delegation of Elders Here

Pyongyang, April 26 (KCNA) -- An Elders' delegation headed by Jimmy Carter, ex-president of the United States, arrived here today by chartered plane.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Dance party, American style:



Dance party, North Korean style:

Dancing Parties of Youth and Students Held

Pyongyang, April 25 (KCNA) -- Dancing parties of youth and students took place in different parts of the country Monday on the army day.

They began to the tune of "Long Live Generalissimo Kim Il Sung" at the plazas of the April 25 House of Culture, the Pyongyang Indoor Stadium and other venues in Pyongyang.

The youth and students presented dances with boundless reverence for President Kim Il Sung who set a shining example in building the Juche-oriented revolutionary armed forces and defeated two imperialisms in one generation, thus exalting the dignity and honor of the country and its people.

The enthusiasm of the dancers picked up when bands played "Our General Is the Best", "The General on the Galloping White Horse" and other songs in succession.

The dances reflected the boundless reverence of the youth and students for Supreme Commander Kim Jong Il who has led the struggle for defending socialism and the building of a thriving nation to victory under the uplifted banner of Songun.

Meanwhile, similar dancing parties took place in different parts of the country including Phyongsong and Kanggye cites. 

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Rapping with the Kims...

It's a pretty long article. Mostly because it's about Kim Jong Il. Doin' stuff. In this particular case he's doin' stuff at a remarkable site that's making fabulous leaps in the use of geothermal technology.

As you read through the piece, you slowly gather that he's visiting an air conditioner factory.

Kim Jong Il Gives Field Guidance to Ryongsong Machine Complex

Pyongyang, April 24 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il gave field guidance to the Ryongsong Machine Complex, opening a bright prospect for the use of geothermal water.

Kim Jong Il went round the new geothermal equipment manufactured by the complex and acquainted himself in detail with their mechanism, the principle of their operation and technical specifications.

He expressed great satisfaction over the one more signal success the workers of Ryongsong made in the efforts to build an economic power and improve the standard of people's living by successfully manufacturing cutting-edge geothermal equipment in a brief span of time by their own efforts and with their own technology.

The geothermal equipment made by the complex are highly efficient cutting-edge energy saving equipment capable of raising several times the heat utility factor while consuming less electricity than the existing heating and air conditioning equipment, he said, highly praising the officials, workers and technicians for having devoted themselves to the manufacture of new-type machines.

After giving field guidance to the complex, Kim Jong Il opened a bright prospect for the use of geothermal water in the country on the spot.

He said that ensuring the heating and air conditioning of buildings by use of geothermal water under ground is of great importance for providing people with convenient living conditions and enabling them to lead a highly civilized life while saving power and fuel such as electricity and coal as much as possible.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Because after all, the essence of communism is a suspension of disbelief:

Grand Magic Opens in Pyongyang

Pyongyang, April 18 (KCNA) -- The premiere of the Grand Magic was given at the May Day Stadium in Pyongyang on the evening of Monday.

The performance began when the dazzling columns of fire rose, brightly lighting the stadium and the band played dynamic and cheerful music.

A juggler presenting stunt on a motorcycle inside a rectangular balloon disappeared while a large bus carrying people also disappeared in the air like a phantom.

Eye-catching and fascinating magic pieces were presented one after another. Acrobats flew in the air, creating the impression that they were in the weightless state, a man on the stage was nimbly replaced by a woman in the air, big animals such as elephant, horse and bear appear from the place nobody knows.

The performance climaxed when the helicopter appeared in a twinkle of an eye and lifted a box which contained a magician whose whole body was tied with a rope after appearing on the stage. The scene showing the performer successfully escaping from the box while it dropped from the air dozens of meters high won the admiration of the spectators for his bold conception and tactful representation.

Conspicuous were the grand stage, varieties of illuminations including electronic displays, laser beams splendidly decorating the three-dimensional space, sound effect in perfect harmony with magic and fantastic fires.

The Grand Magic was acclaimed by the spectators for its high level of grand artistic and three-dimensional representation.

Among the spectators were officials concerned, working people here, foreign guests and overseas Koreans. 

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Minor differences:

Living in Pittsburgh, I will be going to see the Decemberists on Wednesday.

Were I to live in Pyongyang, I would undoubtedly trundle off to see the symphonic masterpiece "DPRK-China Friendship Will Be Everlasting".

Joint and Separate Performances for April Art Festival Given

Pyongyang, April 13 (KCNA) -- The 27th April Spring Friendship Art Festival is going on before full houses every day.

Joint and separate performances were given at the East Pyongyang Grand Theatre, the Ponghwa Art Theatre, the Moranbong Theatre, the Pyongyang Grand Theatre and the Central Youth Hall on Wednesday.

In symphony "DPRK-China Friendship Will Be Everlasting" the performers of the Jilin Provincial Symphony Orchestra showed well the will of the two peoples to glorify generation after generation the history of friendship between the two countries provided by President Kim Il Sung together with Chinese revolutionaries of elder generation.

Artistes of the Xiamen Xiaobailu Folk Dance Troupe of China gave a successful presentation of various dances through dynamic rhythms, witty skills and humorous expression.

The Dance Troupe of the Kiev Dance Theatre and the "Step-Class" Dance Troupe of Ukraine represented numbers rich in national flavor and unique rhythms to draw attention of the audience.

The Merited Artist Varvara and Ensemble "Oberg" of Russia displayed songs, dances and other numbers.

The Art Troupe of Koreans in Japan put on the stage numbers reflecting the faith of the officials of the General Association of Korean Residents in Japan (Chongryon) and Koreans in Japan to devote themselves to strengthening Chongryon, cherishing the spirit of the nation.

The performers of the Art Troupe of Koreans in China impressively sang male solo "Changsong Today", female solo "My Wife" and mixed duet "Song of Girl".

The festival performance goes on. 

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Flowers.

Floral Basket from Chairman of Int'l Foundation

Pyongyang, April 13 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il received a basket of flowers from Johnny Hon, chairman of the International Kim Il Sung Foundation, on the occasion of the Day of the Sun.

The basket was handed over to an official concerned on Wednesday.

Flowers.

Floral Basket from Chief of PNA 

Pyongyang, April 13 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il received a floral basket from Mahmoud Abbas, chief of the Palestinian National Authority, on the occasion of the Day of the Sun, the birthday of President Kim Il Sung.

Palestinian Ambassador to the DPRK Ismail Ahmed Mohamed Hasan handed the basket over to an official concerned on Wednesday.  

And flowers.

Flower Named after President Kim Il Sung

Pyongyang, April 13 (KCNA) -- The 13th Kimilsungia Festival is going on in Pyongyang to commemorate the birth anniversary of President Kim Il Sung (April 15).

Kimilsungia is associated with the Indonesian people's deep reverence for him.

When visiting Indonesia, Kim Il Sung was guided to the Bogor Botanical Garden on April 13, Juche 54 (1965). Sukarno briefed him on a flower bred by an Indonesian botanist and suggested naming it after the DPRK President.

Kim Il Sung politely declined the suggestion, saying he had no particular reason for it.

But Sukarno told him that he deserved it for his great contribution to humankind.

Finding it difficult to decline any more, Kim Il Sung said he would accept the suggestion as a token of the Indonesian people's admiration for the Korean people. 

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Surprisingly enough, not blamed on US imperialism! Let's be optimists and consider it a sign of a thaw in our diplomatic relations.

DPRK Has Long Drought

Pyongyang, April 12 (KCNA) -- The DPRK has experienced a long spell of dry weather caused by a continental high pressure.

Up to now, the country's precipitation is only 20.1 mm or 33 percent of the average, the lowest since Juche 66 (1977) that recorded 17.9 mm.

The northern area on the east coast has 12 % of the average, northern inland area 18 %, the northern area on the west coast 23 %, northern highland area 28 %, central inland area 34 %, central area on the west coast 40 % and central area on the east coast 52%.

The major drought-plagued areas are Heoryong City (0.1 mm), Rason City (1.4 mm) and Taehongdan County (3.8 mm) and Jagang, Ryanggang and North Hamgyong provinces had less than 10 mm for 100 days.

Pyongyang, Sinuiju, Sariwon, Haeju and Kaesong cities and some other west coastal areas had no rainfall for 97 days.

A weather forecast shows the drought will persist in the country next week, too.

The dry weather has adversely affected this year's farming.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Now featuring gruel!

Health Food and Drinks

Pyongyang, April 11 (KCNA) -- The 16th April Holiday Food Festival was held at the People's Palace of Culture some time ago.

Broths, sweet food and health dishes presented by the Changgwang Public Service Management Bureau won popularity at the festival.

Chicken broth mixed with jujube and matrimony vine fruits, corn and beef broth and snakehead broth seasoned with carrot are good for development of physical strength.

Typical of the sweet food are ginkgo nut jam and peach-steamed dish.

Among the health food and drinks are goldfish gruel mixed with red beans, carp gruel and drinks made of hawthorn fruit, walnut, ginger and apricot stone.

The dishes and drinks are served at restaurants under the Changgwang Public Service Management Bureau. 

Food crisis, shmood crisis!

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Foreigners Praise Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il

Pyongyang, April 10 (KCNA) -- Bangladeshi and Indonesian political figures released statements on April 1 to commemorate the birth anniversary of President Kim Il Sung and the 18th anniversary of General Secretary Kim Jong Il's election as chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission.

Rashed Khan Menon, chairman of the Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Bangladesh, and Hasanul Huq Inu, chairman of the Central Executive Committee of the Bangladesh National Socialist Party, said in a joint statement that Kim Il Sung founded the immortal Juche idea, brightly illuminating the path to be taken by mankind. He also brought into a reality the centuries-old desire of the Korean people to live in a new world free from all kinds of exploitation and suppression, the statement added.

Today the Songun politics pursued by Kim Jong Il is instilling great strength and courage into the revolutionary people of the world in their endeavors to firmly defend socialist Korea from the moves of the imperialists to stifle it and live in a new independent world, it noted.

Dilip Barua, general secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Bangladesh (Marxist-Leninist), said in a statement that thanks to the brilliant ideological and theoretical activities and revolutionary practices of Kim Il Sung the DPRK has turned into a powerful socialist state, adding that the socialist and independent forces standing against imperialism have grown stronger in the international arena.

Kim Jong Il's election as chairman of the NDC of the DPRK was a very significant historic event in realizing global independence, he said.

And foreigners better praise them by gum! If they know what's good for them that is! Unbeknownst to many, the armed forces of the DPRK now feature a corps of giants. Fortunately for the rest of the world, the cutting edge technologies of North Korea have evidently, failed so far to provide their giant foot soldiers with giant bullets. But still, they are a fearsome (and standardized and theoretically and scientifically superior and ideologically pure), sight!

Image after the jump.

Your Daily North Korean Headline

Aw, I see it's Take Your Son to Work Day in the DPRK. Nice that Kim Jong Il is able to spend time with young Jong Un. Now that's a dad!

Looks like it was a pretty busy day too, what with all the expecting and guiding and admiring and feats and what-not.

Kim Jong Il Inspects Industrial Establishments in Jagang Province

Pyongyang, April 8 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il provided field guidance to the industrial establishments which took the lead in the drive to push back the frontiers of latest science and technology.

The first leg of his guidance was the February General Steel Enterprise.

Going round the UHP electric arc furnace newly built by the enterprise and its steel shop and other production processes, he acquainted himself in detail with the technological updating and production there.

Watching the workers at work before the furnace, he warmly encouraged them devoting themselves to production with patriotism.

Seeing the modern steel shop and CNC-based control room, he expressed great satisfaction over the fact that the officials, workers and technicians of the enterprise are steadily increasing production after laying a solid material and technological foundation by their own efforts and with their technology. He highly appreciated their feats.

It is thanks to the devoted struggle of all the people including the workers and intellectuals that the WPK's idea of pushing back the frontiers of latest science and technology is being translated into brilliant reality to consolidate the foundation of the DPRK's self-supporting national economy and put the level of the country's industrialization onto a higher stage, he said, adding that this tremendous strength is providing a sure guarantee for accomplishing the cause of building a thriving nation.