Saturday, October 9, 2010

2000 Miles and Runnin

I am lucky enough to be in love with a woman in Wyoming.

It's not lucky that she's in Wyoming. Hell, from what I gather, nobody should ever want to be in that state. Ever.

However, that's not the lucky part. The lucky part is her.

People ask me what I do to help make a very long distance relationship work. Some hints:

1) Make sure your 'Special Someone' does in fact live a long ass ways off. Otherwise, it's totally gonna fuck up your pining.

2) Ideally, they should be both awesome and gorgeous. Studies show that it's hard to miss people that suck.

3) Talk lots. And lots. And just a bit more lots. Not only does it help you to determine that they're awesomegorgeous, but it helps you brush up on your narrative skills:

"Hi, I know you can't see this but wow. Really dumb person acting really dumb. Wish you were here."

Certainly the key to any woman or man's heart.

4) Technology is cool! Webcams aren't just for perverts anymore. You can get one to chat with your loved one with only minimally raised eyebrows.

5) If possible, you should probably consider dating MY GIRLFRIEND. Because otherwise it's really just not worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Don't date his girlfriend because she's dating him and likes it that way!

    ReplyDelete