The New Celebrity Accessory

Is it a bracelet? Is it a handbag? Is it a small dog that will fit in your trousers?

No, silly! It's a UN Commission!

Nicholas Cage, a tireless advocate of not-being-a-criminal, has been named UN Goodwill Ambassador for Global Justice for the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. Or as it's known in the diplomatic community, UNGAGJUNODC.

Which coincidentally, is Klingon for "parsnip".

Seriously though, I try so very, very hard not to be cynical (Conan O'Brien told me not to be), but this sort of clap-trap makes me want to boil a puppy:

“Until today, justice has been a cause without a rebel now we have one,” UNODC Executive Director Antonio Maria Costa told the UN Correspondent's Association (UNCA) 14th Annual Benefit Dinner in New York, where the appointment was announced.

“The Lord of War has become a messenger for peace, the Bad Lieutenant has turned into a good cop, and the inmate from Con Air has become a champion of prison reform,”

And people argue that the UN isn't a serious organization! How dare they! This after all, is a man that had the courage to stand up to crime and name his son after Superman's dad.