To say that open gay men and women are serving their country in uniform is to say that they are fully citizens. It is this equal citizenship that simply cannot compute with the idea of homosexuality in the minds of a minority of the older generation.
It moves the debate from "we tolerate you" to "we are you" and "you are us." The same with marriage equality. This is what the holdouts cannot tolerate. Because they realize they will not just have to tolerate but to honor a gay person. And they will have to honor him or her because that is their own value system, being required to integrate citizens who were once defined as the "other" in every imaginable way.
I agree and disagree. Yes, it would require those opposed to repeal to accept homosexuals as part of the body politic. However, I think that opposition sadly runs deeper and into an uglier vein:
Fear.
I think that people are terrified, yes terrified, of the idea of being protected from our enemies by tough, capable, professional, armed gay people. It's something that they can't get their minds around.
I believe you could see a parallel with the integration of the army during and after the Second World War: A panic that oppressed, black people were being armed and trained.
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