The Morning Blog

Wow, I really, really need to get some coffee into me. By the way, sorry if anything I posted last night was a bit...incoherent. I haven't really had the chance to look over it and to be honest, I try to avoid editing things after I post them. Something about that seems a bit dishonest. And I have no idea why I feel that way. I just do.

Let's just say that last night, I decided that I was going to write something about drunk blogging. And let's just say that it went a teensy bit out of control. I blame peer pressure.

So Burma has been hit with a massive distributed denial of service attack just days before their election. More than likely, it's an attempt to make a fraudulent and undemocratic election extra fraudulent and undemocratic. Frankly, a DDoS attack in Burma seems like overkill to me. Sort of like using a blindfold to confuse Helen Keller.

Iran is holding four men said to be "Britain linked terrorists" who are accused of five assassinations over the past couple of years. I don't really have anything funny to say about that. It just seems silly. I mean, I find it doubtful that the UK would farm out spy work to the local yokels when they've totally got James Bond on hand.



The NFL is doing everything it can to neuter football. I appreciate that they have safety concerns for their players...I also really appreciate that they're probably scared to death of lawsuits coming from players that are suffering dementia because of concussions. But let's face it...FOOTBALL IS A CONTACT SPORT! Stop penalizing players for doing their jobs! Troy Polamalu, quite possibly one of the nicest guys in all professional sports, is very irritated about this.

This is a good argument for having a monarchy: You get to have headlines like "A prince, a sultan, diamonds and a lawsuit" All we get in America is weak sauce stuff about extending tax cuts. Meh. Bring on the sultans!

In addition to making otherwise normal people walk around dressed like fucking nerd wizards, Harry Potter is actually posing a dire threat to India's owls. Interesting to me: Evidently owl tears are used in traditional Indian magic. Who knew owls cried? I bet it's really hard to hurt their feelings.

"Hey Owl! You look fat!"

Reality imitates art imitates reality: A man dressed as a breathalyzer was arrested for drunk driving.

I hope this report is true. We need to keep an eye on these people. The threat posed by Viking extremism is very real. They hate us because of our freedom. And our lack of horned head gear.

Speaking of Harry Potter... Hmm. Well, I guess it's more cheerful than the concept of owl tears.

Here is a giant shrimp.

I think that's it for me today. Later, I'm looking forward to an in depth review of machine guns. If you want to get a head start on it, head here.