The Christmas Wrap Up

Probably something that's only interesting to my people out of town and myself but here you are:

Your Christmas Wrap Up!!!!

In pictures no less!

Here's my Ma and the tree:

Her smile turned to tears once she realized that all I got her for Christmas was peace on Earth. 

Here was the very, very, very rich cake Ma made:

Chocolate cake. Caramel mousse. Raspberry sauce AND raspberries on top. Just to show Haiti, they won't ruin our Christmas!

One of my presents was this. It is a bad idea to give me a foot of beer.

The foot of beer is now empty.

For the Girlfriend, I got her a set of pearl jewelry. And what did her Granny do? TOTALLY STOLE MY THUNDER, THAT'S WHAT. Her grandmother got her a gorgeous black guitar covered with abalone inlays. I'm told that the damn thing sounds like angels beat-boxing. I can see her reaching her evil, wrinkled hands behind the couch to draw the guitar out..."Forget that boy and his foolish pearls! Look what Granny got you! A fabulous guitar! Mwah hah hah hah!"

Unfortunately, the Girlfriend declined to be photographed with her guitar. As such, she is represented by the following stick figure:

She asked for proper breasts. I did my best.

So what did you guys get?