Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Morning Blog

Quick question for the theocrats in Israels coalition government: If a lethal forest fire is in fact Gods punishment for religious offenses as the leader of the Shas party contends, is it not blasphemous to try to control the fire? How about giving aid to the wounded? Aren't you saying that God feels that they deserved what they got? Quick question for the secularists in Israel: What the hell are you doing with these people? Why on Earth is the Israeli government being shared with people who believe that God wants to kill Jews with fire?
Iran is being weird. They've now detained an American woman who had a top secret 'spy tooth'. Read the article for yourself. It's sort of adorable in a way. See the thing is, this simply is not how modern espionage is conducted, at least not by the United States. We are not sneaking our nationals across borders to undertake spying missions because it's silly and inefficient. If we were interested in gathering intelligence on Iran (and clearly we are), we'd just hire an Iranian. There's no reason for us to go the trouble involved in sneaking someone across a border, hoping they manage to blend in with the populace at large and that somehow they'll magically manage to get into a position where they're able to record something of value on their tooth. It wouldn't make any sense at all.

Or maybe none of that happened after all. Stupid breaking news...Nothing but a headache for a blogger!

Kacee Bait: I foresee sloppy science. I can't help but wonder if the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology isn't trying to drum up ad revenues here? It's certainly the only time I've ever heard of them publishing an article that I can imagine laypeople would actually want to read. Whenever I see something like this, I can't help but think that it'd be fun if it panned out. It would be super if ESP actually existed. However, predicting the future violates a tiny assumption that science makes, namely that causes predate effects.

I also like to think that a berserk mob of Russian hockey players is currently rampaging through the quiet streets of Cheektowaga.

I am certainly in favor of gay equality as I believe I've made clear here repeatedly. I also find bullies to be repugnant on every single level: Politically, philosophically and morally, they are utterly corrupt and deserve to spend some personal time with that weird God that likes setting people on fire. That said, I am extremely ambivalent about anti-bullying laws. Must we legislate against children being mean? More significantly, should we? Is this really an appropriate role for the state as opposed to parents and teachers?

This is an awesome rule change! I HATE how overtime is handled in the NFL. I think winning a game with a single field goal is nonsense; it gives a huge advantage to whoever receives the kick. Think about it: Assume the team starts out at the twenty yard line. If they can drive to their opponents twenty then they're almost assured of a successful field goal. That knocks forty yards off a 100 yard field. That's a ridiculous edge. I only hope they extend this rule to the regular season.

For my Pittsburgh people near and far: Yinz got grammar n'at? Frankly, I don't care what the article says. The word is 'yinzer' not 'yunzer'. They can suck eggs for all I care.

This is the last thing I'll say about football. I really miss Aaron Smith. The Steelers need their 6-foot-5, three hundred pound neanderthal back on the line.

Congress opened with the reading of...well, most of the Constitution. Parts that were removed via amendment weren't mentioned. It really isn't that important. It's just a political stunt on behalf of the GOP. Still though, if it had to be read, it should have been read in its entirety, warts and all. The Constitution once permitted the ownership of human beings, acknowledge it. It's a sad and shameful part of our history that should be recognized and come to terms with. The Constitution once prohibited people from making their own decisions about enjoying intoxicants. It's a sad and...Oh wait. Sorry. That's still going on. Mea culpa.

For the arachnophobes out there, here's an article about spider make out sessions.

The Girlfriend just jumped in and was kind enough to provide further vital spider related information:

She informs me that everyone in the universe has already seen that video. I don't care.

The $2,000 work boot.

I can't help but think that it would be slightly more newsworthy if he stayed in the will. Why on Earth is it notable that she chose to leave him nothing?

I think the link name is sufficiently interesting, thank you: Crocodile Dundee sues Australia.

This seems profoundly sensible to me: The town of Colchester has decided that rather than waste police resources hassling drunks, it's easier to just set aside an area away from shoppers and tourists, where they can drink in peace.

Best way I can think to end things. Here's a picture of a well dressed monkey taking a picture of an under-dressed human:

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