Friday, January 14, 2011

The Morning Blog

Just happened to look over the archives and realized that this will be the 100th Morning Blog!

How time do fly!

I feel like I ought to put together a 'Greatest Hits' or a MoBlo Bestie but frankly, that's a lot of work. 100 posts is quite a bit to wade through. So I'll leave it at this: Do you remember that time when there was that thing that was troubling but I wrote about it in a funny way and it made the Girlfriend want to have sex with me? Yeah, that was great.

Pictured on the left by the way, is Winnie Langley of Croydon, South London who evidently started smoking at the age of seven, just a few weeks after the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. In that picture she's enjoying her 170,000th cigarette.

I can't say for sure but I would bet that she is now dead.

Anyways, I've just started getting some coffee into me so I guess I ought to take a look at what's actually happening in the world.

Sue Bait: Pope John Paul II will be beatified on May 1st beating out Mother Theresa for the fastest beatification in history. When not stealing the thunder from old ladies, what else did the pope enjoy? Skiing.

Mike Bait: Kazakhstan is voting to end voting. Remarkably, some opponents have accused the President of undemocratic practices.

Oh! I was just talking about you yesterday: Lovable rapscallion, Silvio Berlusconi is one step closer to going on the lam with the Quaids. The Italian PM is now under investigation in a prostitution case involving a 17 year old girl known as "Ruby the Heartstealer".

Hilary Clinton delivered an unusually sharp critique of Arab nations while in Doha. Frankly, if I had to zip all over the Middle East, I'd be cranky too. Seriously though, I'd say that all of her points are valid ones. The Middle East is banking its long term economic and political health on the short term value of oil. Sooner or later, that black goo just isn't going to be that valuable.

Steal this WiFi.

I don't know that it quite deserves its own stand-alone post but this certainly qualifies as a Periodic Horror.

This is awesome: Revenge of the Robocalls. After being awoken by a robocall from the school district at 4:30 AM, a man decided to have a few automated messages of his own sent out.

Hey family: How is it possible that a giant, nude woman is being constructed in Europe without the involvement of Uncle Frank?

Calling Colonel Kurtz...

Here is a teensy-weensy, tiny, little, insignificant and probably inaccurate reason for optimism.

In addition to minor things like oh, accuracy and physical health, the Army is now testing soldiers for spiritual fitness. I'm not entirely certain that there's even a universal definition of 'spirituality' and would expect any two people to have three different opinions on it. While I concede that the Army should and must do something about suicide rates amongst service members, I think that encouraging soldiers to go to church is not one of it's prerogatives.

I sincerely hope that the dispatcher didn't actually send police.

Looks like everyone's getting some bait today!

Theresa Bait: A gallery of the most awesome stuff in the universe.

Kacee Bait: 10,000 people have petitioned for the dismissal of Glenn Beck. Takeaway:

For a media figure who has been variously lambasted as a liar, buffoon, clown, bigot and racist Beck is no stranger to the vitriol that currently passes in America as public debate.

To be fair, I should point out that Roger Ailes, President of Fox News has ordered his talking heads to tone things down.

Because I love the Girlfriend, let's end things with just a bit more Kacee Bait:

Toys! Toys! Toys! That suck.

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