The Morning Blog

Hello Baby, I missed you. It's good to be back. Though I definitely needed a break on Saturday and appreciate the hell out of the always charming Girlfriend stepping up, it's nice to be writing you again.

Anyways...


The Scene from Libya: Qaddafi is finally allowing foreign journalists in. The first problem was issuing visas inasmuch as many of the Libyan embassies have defected and no longer serve the government. Upon arrival for their official tour, reporters were offered this helpful advice by Qaddafi's son (who sadly does not seem to possess his fathers sartorial joie de vivre ):

The younger Mr. Qaddafi promised journalists they would find the streets peaceful and his father beloved. Do not mistake the sound of celebratory fireworks for bursts of gunfire around the streets of Tripoli, he advised them.

Though the rebels who have seized the Eastern part of the country are attempting to put something resembling a government into place with a former justice minister being proposed as a temporary prime minister, the question remains: "Apres Qadaffi, le what now?"

A disease common amongst amphibians, known as Newt Gingrich may take a run at ruling the free world. Not surprisingly, he's pushing his shiny, new religious credentials. Anti-choice activist Barbara Wilkes comments:

When one woman asked about his conversion, Mrs. Willke replied: “His Catholicism certainly sounds legit, and even more so since Callista is in the picture now.”

Bear in mind, Callista is the house staff member Gingrich had an affair with during his second marriage. That particular affair led him to request a divorce as his wife was recovering from cancer in the hospital. To be clear, this so called "legit Catholicism" would prevent two committed homosexuals from marrying but is fine and dandy with an adulterer working through his third marriage.

This all actually segues unexpectedly (and quite nicely), into an article about a company providing online moderation services. And it's sort of Kacee Bait. As it turns out, Gingrich gave a speech in the online world of Second Life. The company; Metaverse, provided virtual bodyguards:

When Mr. Gingrich’s avatar delivered his speech in September 2007, a bevy of Metaverse bodyguards, clad in go-go boots and 1960s-style mini-trench coats, surrounded him. They peacefully resolved the only security breach, asking one guest to cover her bikini-clad avatar in more seemly attire.

Disturbing the peace.

How are things in North Korea? Meh. Dreary. No surprise. But at least they've got VHS. However, the article links to this WONDERFUL source for what may be considered, North Korean "journalism"! My favorite headlines include:

Participants of National Meeting Visit Different Places

Ionic Reaction Curative Apparatus Developed.

And because ironically, it's a headline with the most truth to it:

DPRK Circus Stuns World Spectators

All of them are worth checking out frankly. They read like fortune cookies. Just add "...in bed."

More Kacee Bait: I guess Lady Gaga did something here.

Even More Kacee Bait: Evidently, the Strokes are up to something as well.

The scene from Wisconsin.

People and their goddamn cell phones.

On behalf of the United States, I'd like to say "Sorry, World." Regrettably, fashion, music and bad movies aren't the only things we export.

Oh neat! In praise of the teeny-weeny.

Oh my...not so neat. Darpa is funding an experimental robotic cheetah. Just wonderful. I can now relive all of the Transformers related nightmares from my childhood.

Sticking with the horror, let's take a look at the "bummer" that a constrained exchange of small nuclear weapons would be.

Blah, blah, "The Oscars". Let's see who went home with the gold at the Razzies.

Words of the Week.

I didn't wake up this morning expecting to agree with the Taliban but frankly, if you're going to blow something up, it might as well be a dogfight.

And finally...

Just in case you were wondering what Weird Al Yankovic has been up to. Apparently, he's encouraging children to milk giraffes.