Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Simple Rule for Law Enforcement

Presenting the HOLY SHIT!!!!! Rule:

HOLY SHIT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN, my 26-year-old self thought. (Yes, I was a 26-year-old federal prosecutor. Defense attorney hand-wringing — which annoyed me at the time, but which I now join — goes here.) A helicopter raid! A raid jacket! A COMMAND CENTER! They’ll probably give me a gun. You know, in case any shit goes down.

But even at 26 I had a certain rudimentary old-mannish quality, and it occurred to me to ask — does that sound too good? So during lunch I wandered into the office of the U.S. Attorney– who had been my supervisor in rookie row not long before — to talk about it.

He listened sympathetically. Then he told me. “Ken,” he told me, “if your reaction to a proposal is “HOLY SHIT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN,” then as a government lawyer and member of law enforcement, you almost certainly shouldn’t be doing it.”

Please bear in mind, that had this rule been better followed by law enforcement, Steven Seagal would not have been allowed to use a fucking tank to stop a cock fight.

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