Thursday, September 30, 2010


Went to the movies tonight with my friend Sue. It was a whiz-bang production! Nothing exploded but you could definitely tell that if they wanted to, they could explode something really well.

Just explode the hell outta it.

Also, no killer robots. But it was a free pass and beggars can't be choosers.

But enough about the stupid robotless movie.

Sue hadn't eaten anything all day but sunshine and happy thoughts. So when we got to the theatre, she was all "Yay! Concessions!" and made a beeline for the candy.

They had no prices so she ordered the first thing she saw, a popcorn/soda super combo platter of joy.

And then they wheeled it out.

It was a bucket of soda. It was an obscenity of popcorn.

Sue is profoundly opposed to waste. Looking at the enormity of foodstuffs being presented to her, she did the only thing her morality would allow her to.

Basically, she backed up like they'd just come out with a basket of vipers.

"No....No. No, no, nononononono. That is too much....Oh....Too much. I wanna...."

And here another useless scan of the lack of prices.

"I want..."

The giant, refrigerator box of popcorn sat on the counter. Mocking her. Mocking her.

"I want..."

Her appall at the idea of so much food being wasted on a single person rather than eight third world orphans and a flock of sparrows finally got the better of her.

"I want nothing!"

And so they threw it all away in front of her.

Me? Me, I got a small cherry slurpy. And it was awesome.