Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Morning Blog

The International Monetary Fund has announced that diplomatic immunity will not apply in the case of Dominique Strauss-Kahn. It's seen as a move by the fund to distance itself from its director who in all fairness, everyone was quite pleased with before he got all rape-y. At any rate, if you happen to be a world renowned economist or simply a member of the Illuminati, now might be a good time to dust off that resume.

Just to play devils advocate here...

In other employment news, the position has been filled. You didn't really want that job anyways, did you? Look what happened to the last guy. The severance package is a bitch.

Awkward, awkward, awkward. Could be worse though. Given the strained relations between Pakistan and the US right now, I can't imagine how it would have played out if they'd managed to shoot down one of the helicopters. On a positive note, Pakistan did announce that it managed to arrest some guy.

Pakistan has of course, been roundly condemned for having Bin Laden living quite comfortably within its borders. I mean how hard can it be to spot a wanted fugitive?

Anyways, we're busy. I seem to recall there being a deadline for this thing? Something about "Weeks, not months"?

This is good news though: Latin American leaders are distancing themselves from Chavez. One would hope that this is because of his ghastly necrophilia. One would hope that this is because of his questionable decision to create his own time zone. But no...It just looks like a reaction to the basic fact that socialists can't even manage something as abundant as oil money. He simply can't buy political support anymore.

Sarah Bait: While not as exciting (or laughable), as the movie "Snakes on a Plane", it's good to see that the Welsh are attempting their own version.

In other news of the UK, the Queen continues her tour of Ireland. It's all very lovely and symbolic and important I'm sure. But doesn't it feel a bit like a practical joke? What better way to stick it to a cash-strapped former colony than to compel them to spend $42 million protecting their former imperial ruler while she strolls about looking regal? Love the hat though.

As long as we're talking about Catholics in revolt, I suppose we might as well look at this new study about the sex abuse crisis in the church. What's to blame? Hippies, naturally.


Hola Jose.

Cooking bytes.

Speaking of cooking, here are the details of a criminal cookie catastrophe. In the air, no less.

More food news here.

For the ladies.

I mentioned the other day my burning hatred of filthy, stupid pandas. An ideological cohort speaks her mind here. Stay strong, Sister!

Here by the way, is an animal that clearly deserves more attention than those stupid bamboo chewers.

Not nearly as cute as a panda.
Here are some more for that matter. I would really, really prefer to not do a "The Dead" for all of America's bats. Though hardly as cute as pandas, they are a thousand times more critical. As such, I welcome the news that something to save them is at least being planned.

Interesting expose here on the business of organ trafficking. I have mixed thoughts on it. On the one hand, people who sell their organs (and people who buy them as well for that matter), are clearly being exploited. That said, one of the major reasons why there are waiting lists for people to receive organs is a lack of supply. Would allowing people to choose to sell their organs alleviate this problem? I kind of think that it would. I also think that a properly regulated trade would be far superior to what's happening now.

Step One: Kill the competition.

Spy Inc.

People and their goddamn cellphones! Enough already! Nothing you have to say could possibly be that important. At the very least, it would make this woman sick.

2012 Watch: Not that we're allowed to talk about it but... Goodbye.

What happened today?

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