A Dose of Awesome

Hey parents: In the event that you're terrified that your children are all going to become sociopaths after playing endless hours of first-person shooter games, here's a refreshing change to the genre: A first-person shooter where you're armed with nothing but a camera:

The game itself — the title of which is actually short for “war correspondent” — follows the story of journalist Jesse DeMarco. Players will experience the process of filming conflicts, going into dangerous situations armed with nothing but a camera. They will then edit the footage into a compelling news story. The scenarios range from intense bursts of action to quieter moments as you discuss the events of the day with fellow journalists in a hotel. Though the main mechanic will be filming the action, Warco is also very much about choice.

“It’s also about navigating through a morally gray world and making decisions that have human impact,” he explained. “It’s about finding the story you want to tell, as each of our environments is filled with different story elements you can film and combine in your own ways. It’s both a storytelling engine and an action adventure with a new perspective.”

Free Market Economics in Four Panels

A helpful primer from the good people (and funny people at that), over at Buttersafe:

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

"Cost and schedule over-runs there are."

...I once worked in project management.

Hateful job by the way.

Anyways, as this charming article from an acquisitions officer for the military points out, the first most important rule of project management is and always should be "Thou shalt build no Death Stars".

Way to Go Art!

When I was growing up, my beloved Auntie Julia had an enormous (and slightly creepy), collection of little plastic Cabbage Patch premies.

You remember those right? They were just like regular Cabbage Patch Kids only they were...well, I guess they were supposed to be premature babies.

And she had like a million plastic little versions of them.

Having gotten that bit of autobiographical information out of the way, let's look at some more fun with toys from the '80's.

More fun with My Little Pony here!

Kacee Bait

Ground Control to Major Tom!!!

Waiting On My AARP Card

A few years ago, I was walking through my old neighborhood when I saw a parked car that looked familiar to me. I walked over and realized that it was an old Datsun, nothing special but a type of car that my family had when I was young.

Feeling a bit nostalgic, I walked around the car and there I saw it: the license plate. Specifically, the license plate designating it "a classic car".

It was a kick in the nuts. Not only had I just turned 30 but suddenly things from my youth were considered antiques.

That was rough. Want to know what's worse? Finding out that my language is turning obsolete as well.

Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a walker?

Photo of the Day II

Couldn't resist.

More pictures of basset hounds running are here.

Photo of the Day

Now that the shuttle program has been retired, what do our rocket jockeys have left worth living for?

For other pictures of sad astronauts, click here.

Slow News Day

Ho-hum story. Brilliant headline.

Since We're Most Certainly Not Involved In Any Sort of Hostilities...

Conor Friedersdorf offers up ten euphemisms for whatever the hell it is that does not require congressional approval in Libya.

My personal favorite is:

Operations abroad characterized more by their energy than any animus toward what I'll refrain from calling the enemy.

Oh My.

No, I'm completely serious. It's real. Leslie Nielsen put a fart joke on his tombstone. See for yourself:

 

Thanks to the AV Club.

Mike Bait

Came across this while I was searching for something for the Sunday Matinee.

It's a parody sure, Bro. But let's face it: There's a pretty good reason why we haven't bothered to check in on any hip-hop since the early 90's. Sadly, this is the current state of the music:

Reggie Watts - "Fuck Shit Stack" from ben dickinson on Vimeo.

Hell in a Handbasket!

Yep, the country's going down the drain!

First women get uppity and start dating, then the gays start wanting to get married and now...

THIS!!!!



Jesus wept!

Thanks to the always awesome the Girlfriend.

You Say "Tomato" I Say "Tomahto"...

Another terrorist mastermind has found his end!

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!” In the alien protection zone, crowds sang “The Ten Thousand Year Empire.” Throughout the Sah'c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night.

In Other Religious News

Wow, I sure hope that this happened.

Kudos to the Catholics!

Ahem

Here's some religious art I can get behind!

A Rapturous Rapture

Sorry about the spotty posting today, I was raptured.

I'm sure you can imagine that as an atheist, this took me completely by surprise. It was more than a little inconvenient being transported from my job to the eternal city of Heaven. Need I even mention that it occurred during my dinner break??? My meatloaf went completely to waste. I'm hoping my friend Mike had the sense to set my clothes and shoes someplace safe after I vanished out of them. I also hope that being abducted by God is considered a viable reason for leaving in the middle of a shift. I just hope I get my job back.

So how was Heaven? Pretty nice I guess. Sort of reminded me of a suburb outside of Columbus, OH. Naturally, the major difference was that everyone there was naked. I'm not sure why everyone had to leave their clothes behind but who am I to question? Oh, and we all got balloons. It was pretty festive.

I'm sure you're all wondering: God was just lovely. Really, just a class act. I have to say though, he's not quite what I was expecting. He looks like a rock with feathers. He performs a magic show every Sunday and let me tell you! It is not to be missed!

Clearly, an angel.

Oh and there are like a million angels! And they're all super-helpful; they have kiosks set up all over the place and are always willing to give directions if you get lost trying to find the convenience store (don't buy the hotdogs. Heaven's hotdogs are crap). Also, they all look like David Lee Roth. Again, who am I to question.

One disappointment: Not everyone gets a mansion. Most people just get ranch houses. It's probably for the best. It keeps the housing market from getting over-heated.

Anyways, I'm off to the magic show. This week, God is going to do his famous act where he makes 200 million people not disappear.

Countdown, T Minus 2 Days

Tomorrow being the end of the world and all, thought I'd just say thanks for reading.

Personally, I find that I tend to write a bit better when I'm faced with a deadline so I'm taking this as a positive.

Anyways, it's never to early to get ready for this sort of thing. NPR is asking what song you'll be listening to when the end comes.

I'm planning on...

Countdown, T Minus 3 Days

Three days til the End of the World.

What am I doing?

It's my day off so...Decided I'd drink an entire bottle of wine and play some video games.

Don't judge me! I'm sure it's better than whatever the hell you're doing!

Countdown, T Minus 4 Days

As you may already know, the End of the World is scheduled for Saturday. Even though it's one hell of a way for God to ruin everybody's weekend, I suppose there are some positive sides to it.

For one thing, the End of the World might prove to be rather relaxing. I for one look forward to not having to go into work.

Anyways, I figured that I might as well chronicle the last few days before I get thrown into the pits of Hell or whatever with the rest of the non-believers. At the very least, I'll chronicle the positive things that I'm trying to do in the little time I have left before God throws the ultimate hissy-fit.

For example: Just kissed the Girlfriend! She's making me a sandwich for work and deserves it!