Mike Bait

Well, who didn't see this coming sooner or later?

Let's all enjoy some video of two women beating the hell out of SpongeBob SquarePants in Hollywood.



For the rest of you, I think it's important to register my disgust...MY DISGUST!! that the Green Lantern looks on and does nothing. Whatever happened to good ol', space-bling fueled heroics?

The Daily Horror

Oh my...

Let's just leave it to the headline here:

Gordon Ramsay's Porn Star Double Eaten by Badger.

What Up, Space?

Just a couple of quick hits from intergalactic news...

To begin with, a Swedish man reports that he has shot down a spaceship that was coming to abduct him. Understandably, the police are rather interested in his shenanigans. Notably, he claims to have destroyed the UFO using a pistol which frankly doesn't speak well of the durability of alien technology. One would assume that they would have to survive asteroid strikes and what-not...Being downed by a pistol doesn't say much.

Oh, and while we're at it: Domino's Pizza has announced plans to build a pizzeria on the moon. Because of course.

Kacee Bait

OK, OK, the Girlfriend. Maybe some of the rich are apparently evil.

A recent survey covered at the Guardian explains one possible reason for the Great Recession.

Finally!

Obviously, there's been an awful lot to say about Libya. And obviously, there have been quite a few disagreements over how to spell the name of their former leader. Gadaffi...Qaddafi...Kadaffi....Eric...

Turns out they're all wrong. Amongst other things discovered amid the ruins of his compound in Tripoli, rebels have discovered his sons diplomatic passport. Apparently, the proper spelling is...

Something I Probably Shouldn't Have Read Before My Coffee

Frankly, it's just a bit too unusual for me to really process right now. I'd love it if I was a bit more clever but I'm just not in that place right now. So to be brief...

Ikea is totally run by Nazis. Didn't you always sort of suspect that?

Waiting On My AARP Card

A few years ago, I was walking through my old neighborhood when I saw a parked car that looked familiar to me. I walked over and realized that it was an old Datsun, nothing special but a type of car that my family had when I was young.

Feeling a bit nostalgic, I walked around the car and there I saw it: the license plate. Specifically, the license plate designating it "a classic car".

It was a kick in the nuts. Not only had I just turned 30 but suddenly things from my youth were considered antiques.

That was rough. Want to know what's worse? Finding out that my language is turning obsolete as well.

Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a walker?

Photo of the Day

Now that the shuttle program has been retired, what do our rocket jockeys have left worth living for?

For other pictures of sad astronauts, click here.

England Update

This was certainly inevitable.

Having risen like a mighty, tea-besotted tide during the recent riots, the formerly staid and class-conscious people of England have now rudely refused the request of their hereditary ruler and sovereign, King Arthur.

Undoubtedly, the Queen is not amused.

Real Estate

Inasmuch as the Girlfriend and I are in the market for a new apartment, I thought I'd look about and see what's available. Certainly some places can be had for cheap (thought I suspect that prices may have risen).

However, there is one particular bit of realty that I'm quite certain has not seen a dramatic climb in value. Picher, OK which sounds pretty much like Hell on Earth:

Although most of the residents have left, a few still linger amid the vacant buildings and desolate roads, where trucks hauling away polluted waste are the only traffic. With no electric, city, or police services, the town is dark and unattended, frequently vandalized and subject to theft. Founded in 1918, Picher hit hard times when the mining companies pulled out, and the population had already sunk to around 1,700 when the buyouts started. During World War I and II, Picher was busy with the lead-ore extraction for producing bullets, and saloons with names like the Bloody Knuckle characterized the rough, but bustling, community. Unfortunately, the town faced even more misery in May 2008, when an EF-4 tornado plowed through the area, killing six, injuring 150, and destroying 100 homes.

In May 2009, the high school had its last graduation and in September 2009 the city offices finally closed. In March 2010, the only business remaining open in the shadow of the sometimes 100-feet-tall chat piles was the Ole Miners Pharmacy. Eventually, the whole town will be bulldozed to the ground, the soil hauled away, the poisonous mountains of waste removed, leaving nothing but scarred land. 

Screw that. We're moving here.

Hello, My Name Is...

So much for the God-given right of New Zealanders to name their children "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" (pronounced Albin by the way). The New Zealand Name Register has banned weird-ass names. No longer will little boys be privileged with names like "Number 16 Bus Shelter".

Naturally, I am outraged.

Slow News Day

Ho-hum story. Brilliant headline.

A Rapturous Rapture

Sorry about the spotty posting today, I was raptured.

I'm sure you can imagine that as an atheist, this took me completely by surprise. It was more than a little inconvenient being transported from my job to the eternal city of Heaven. Need I even mention that it occurred during my dinner break??? My meatloaf went completely to waste. I'm hoping my friend Mike had the sense to set my clothes and shoes someplace safe after I vanished out of them. I also hope that being abducted by God is considered a viable reason for leaving in the middle of a shift. I just hope I get my job back.

So how was Heaven? Pretty nice I guess. Sort of reminded me of a suburb outside of Columbus, OH. Naturally, the major difference was that everyone there was naked. I'm not sure why everyone had to leave their clothes behind but who am I to question? Oh, and we all got balloons. It was pretty festive.

I'm sure you're all wondering: God was just lovely. Really, just a class act. I have to say though, he's not quite what I was expecting. He looks like a rock with feathers. He performs a magic show every Sunday and let me tell you! It is not to be missed!

Clearly, an angel.

Oh and there are like a million angels! And they're all super-helpful; they have kiosks set up all over the place and are always willing to give directions if you get lost trying to find the convenience store (don't buy the hotdogs. Heaven's hotdogs are crap). Also, they all look like David Lee Roth. Again, who am I to question.

One disappointment: Not everyone gets a mansion. Most people just get ranch houses. It's probably for the best. It keeps the housing market from getting over-heated.

Anyways, I'm off to the magic show. This week, God is going to do his famous act where he makes 200 million people not disappear.

And Their Handwriting Sucks

A new study shows that in addition to being weird, wrong-handed mutants; left-handed people are a cowardly bunch:

Psychologists found that people who watched an eight minute clip from a scary movie suffered more symptoms associated with post traumatic stress if they were left handed than if they were right handed.

When asked to recall events from the film clip, taken from near the tense climax of thriller Silence of the Lambs, left handed volunteers gave more fragmented accounts filled with more repetition than their right handed counterparts.

This effect is common in people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

Take that, Southpaws!

Guilt by Association

Today's New York Times features a rather staggering profile of "economist" Gary North. Mr. North is a proponent of what's known as "biblical economics". Through some sort of magical transfusion, he is described as a libertarian.

And as noted atheist and godmother of libertarianism, Ayn Rand spins in her grave howling, let's take a moment to look this piece over (I suspect her ghost hasn't been this displeased since reviews of "Atlas Shrugged" started coming in).

Granted, his economic positions are broadly libertarian in that they argue that services and responsibilities fulfilled by the state should instead be devolved to the individual. Most libertarian intellectuals would probably reach the same conclusions having read Mises, Hayek, Friedman et al. while he came to them after perusing the mystical writings of a nomadic, desert tribe but that's neither here nor there. The conclusions are basically the same though Mr. North arrived at his via...different means.

But then...

These “Reconstructionists” are believers in Christian Reconstructionism, the philosophy of R. J. Rushdoony, who died in 2001. According to Reconstructionism, a Christian theocracy under Old Testament law is the best form of government, and a radically libertarian one. Biblical law, they believe, presupposes total government decentralization, with the family and church providing order. Until that day comes, Reconstructionists believe the rights to home-school and to worship freely at least provide the barest conditions of liberty. 

Emphasis mine.

Let's be clear: One can share libertarian ideals and not be a libertarian. Everyone has a different 'acid test' for what that might be. I would say however, that advocating for an OLD TESTAMENT THEOCRACY would be a bit beyond the pale for anyone devoted to the principles of economic and civil liberty! The Old Testament hardly has a live-and-let-live worldview.

Kacee Bait

What hath Gaga wrought?

Hat tip to Radley Balko.

The Strength of American Leadership

Sigh.

Rep. David Wu (OR).

Talkin' 'Bout that Old Timey Religion!

I think it's pretty safe to say that establishing an internet presence for a church can be a hit or miss endeavor.

Here for example, is something that I consider to be pretty much perfect. In fact, it's the closest thing I can think of to being an internet vacation. I find it to be remarkably soothing. Though I'm not a Christian, I can certainly appreciate how anyone could find peace in such a place. I will say gladly, as a non-religious person, that it serves as a glorious testament to mankind's awe at the grandeur of what I think can best be called "the sublimely unknown".

This however... Well, between the lightning, the bitchin' electric guitar solo and the seizure inducing images, I would say: not quite the same feeling, thanks.

Hat tip to Cracked for this. If you're interested, feel free to see their full article (including a bit on twin, mime preachers for Jesus) here: 5 Ham-Fisted Religious Websites.

Impossible Celebrity Matches

Via The Daily Dish (do they really need me to send traffic their way?), here are some imposible celebrity matches. My favorite? JFK and Anna Nicole Smith:

How's the Weather?

Courtesy of the Girlfriend; Lakeshore Drive, Chicago, IL: